The Town of Dullsville

There’s a whole lot of stuff going on behind the scenes with Doodle Divas lately.  First it was just this big random fun splash of everything.  Things have since changed and continue to evolve.

The fun and interesting stuff has been replaced by dull, boring and even scary stuff.  Focus has shifted from prints, t-shirts, soaps and paper clips to trademarks, business plans, executive summaries and  . . . ATTORNEYS . . . gulp!

But a wise person forewarned just as this journey began, ‘Just remember, success takes hard work.”  So I accept the fact that it’s not all fun and games.  Besides, knowledge is power.

However, I have been able to eek out a few new designs here and there behind the scenes.  So it’s not completely dull.  And a lot of the information I’ve gathered during the dull parts has been quite illuminating and inspiring.

So things may not be all fun and games with Doodle Divas, but it’s worth it for the end result – success.  Venturing into the town of Dullsville is proving to be a necessary yet empowering evil. 

Grown Up Luggage

Last week I was invited to join some friends on a weekend ski trip.  Naturally, I grabbed my luggage, stuffed in a few items, and headed to the slopes.

Hardly . . . 

I went.   But getting my stuff there proved to be a pivotal moment in my life.  After years of getting away without it for so long, I had no choice . . . it was time to invest in GROWN UP luggage.

To date, my luggage was one lone duffle bag.  I've been through several of course.  Basically I just use whatever I use for the gym for road trips and overnight stays.

I paid nothing for my latest.  My brother or his wife donated several bags from seminars and such they've attended.  This is one from an American Red Cross event is the latest:

Nothing fancy.  One Summer I was jaunting across the region in a two-seater convertible.  Trunk space was limited.  The smaller the better.  

But this ski trip was different.  As I tore up my place looking for something bigger, it occurred to me:  I needed REAL GROWN UP luggage.  

This was a snazzier trip.  I didn't want to roll up with my gym bag among other folks' Luis Vuitton's.  So I made a quick trip on my lunch break and came up with this:

Much better.  For perspective, here they are together:

It has wheels, an expandable handle, and everything.  

Granted, it's no Luis Vutitton.  But considering I was using the same bag I carried to the gym and stuffed haphazardly in lockers for years, I was able to pack with much more confidence.  My luggage had finally grown up!

F Bomb!

There's this big ruckus about tonight's episode of "Modern Family."  A little girl utters the "F" bomb in polite company.   Now there are groups concerned about the welfare of families across the country.  This one episode rises to the level of child abuse.


I just giggle.


But it got me to wondering -  does anybody else remember their first "F" bomb?  Or any other four letter word that made folks recoil in shock and horror?


I do!


I was in fourth grade in the school cafeteria.  I was just randomly singing silly nonsense rhymes.  You know how Dr. Seuss made up nonsense words just to get a rhyme or a character?  That's what I was doing. 


Somehow the word 'duck' randomly came up and I started rhyming and  . . . "F" bomb!  My friend, Brenda, was sitting across from me and gasped.  She said it was a very, Very, VERY bad word.


I laughed.   


It was the silliest word I'd heard.  How could it be a dirty word?  It didn't even make sense.


So I sang it over, and Over and OVER again in rapid fire.  


"F-bomb!  F-bomb!  F-bomb!  F-bomb! F-bomb! . . ."  


My friend was giggling.  But there was definitely something about her giggle that wasn't a fun giggle.  It was more of a manic I-can't-believe-you-are-doing-this-because-you-are-going-to-die-and-I-feel-so-sorry-for-you-fool giggle.


About then,  my fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Lentz, whipped her head around with eyes bugging out like she got possessed by a frightened zombie.  


"STEVEN HALL!  Where did you hear that word??!"


Oops.


"I don't know.  I just made it up."


And with a curt, stern and deliberate tone she commanded, "Well you are never to say that word again.  Do you understand me?"


"Yes ma'am."  I stammered with embarrassment.


And I never said the F-word again . . . 


. . . until maybe college.  That's about when I even knew what it meant.  But I digress.


It's kind of lost it's power.  It's so overused.  I'm mindful of it but it's largely no biggie.  


I do, however, find its got no business in certain company.  I'm an adult.  I kind of figured out where I can and can't use it - not that I'm some boiling pressure cooker eager to use it.


While, I will admit, in REALITY, there's nothing cute about a child dropping the F-bomb, it's not drugs or unprotected sex.  Getting up in arms about it for a fictional t.v. show is just silly.  


There are some powerful parents and teachers out there that can handle it.  All it took for me was Mrs. Lentz's mega goliath eyes and stern, deliberate command to make sure that word never left my mouth until I was light years away from 4th grade.


Whew!

Whine Session . . .

I'll call this whine session, "Why is There Complicated Crap in a Dumbed Down Country??":

I just got some important paperwork to fill out for retirement.  If I were to retire tomorrow  . . . well let's just say I can't retire tomorrow.   I just decide the amount to sock away and go on about my day . . . right?

Wrong!

In a country where the art of counting back  change has been replaced by computers,  and digital displays, why the hell do these banks and investment establishments insist on using  bizarre nonsensical dialogue, mini-me size fonts, volumes of illogical paperwork, and invasive, time-consuming requirements?  

NO ONE reads these collossal novels of gobbley-gook that comes with buying a house, investing in your retirement, or getting a credit card.  

Enron, the real estate crash, Madoff . . . I wonder if any of that mess could have been avoided if the paperwork involved was written more like a McDonalds menu instead of a collegiate dictionary?  

Just because you use 40 words to say what 5 words can,  doesn't make it more real.  Small print doesn't make a document more serious.

On the one hand, our country tells us it's OK to be horrid at math.  That's why everything has calculators and formulas built right in them.  

On the one hand, our country tells us spelling is so last century.  That's why words have been replaced by icons and predictive text.  (Icons?  Whatever.  Let's call it what it is.  It's a picture.  Coloring books have replaced spelling.)

On the one hand, reading has been replaced by reality t.v. and anything involving the word 'Beyonce', 'Kardashian' or 'Housewife'.   

 . . . And I am absolutely, positively, super duper, very, way OK with it! 

BUT  on the OTHER hand, the same country that encourage us to send TXT MSGS LIK THIS, has the nerve to make our mortgages, credit card, auto loans and investment documents look like ancient Chinese proverbs in braille! 

This is all I need:  

I want to put $(fill in the blank) in my account each month with an average overall percentage of interest earned per year being $(fill in the blank).  

I understand sh*t happens and I am not guaranteed I'll get that interest.  I could even lose money.

But it looks like this group of investments called, "Middle Of The Damn Road", has been OK for the past 10 or so years.  

If I die before I get my hands on it, give it to my nephew or my bro or my Mom or my Dad or split it among all of them.   

Otherwise, just make sure when I'm vested and retire, I get back what I put in or I will find you and kick all your sorry asses with my cane!

Signed,

Steven 

See.  Simple, plain, albeit a little crass, ENGLISH!

OK.   

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is on!  OMG!

Done venting. ;-)

Power Shopping

Do you go 'boutiquing'?


Do you and your friends plan entire weekends to scour shops for super duper bargains?


Have you committed all your department store charge cards to memory?


Can your sixth sense detect clearance racks from miles away?


If you can't decide which pair of shoes to buy,  do you buy both?


If so, you're not just a bargain hunter.  You're not just a power shopper.  You . . .my dear . . . are a bonafide . . .


 . . DIVA!  

Don't Get Mad . . . Get an IP Address!!!

Ever buy something online and then need to get in touch with customer service.  But it's just an email address.  And despite the support site declaring they'll respond within 24-48 hours, it's over a week later and no response.


Me too.


But don't get mad.


Get the IP address!


An IP address can be like opening the vault of Fort Knox.  It's like a contact gold mine.


It is not, however, gospel.


The info on file could be old.  The company associated with it could have been bought out.  The host could be in another country.  Etc. . . 


Also, most times the IP address belongs to the folks who handle the network. 


So, don't complain to the guy throwing the party, (host), for something between you, (uninvited empty handed guest),  and their invited guest.


The host could very well tell you to take a hike.  The guest is their paying client.  Not you.


. . . at least not entirely.  


You are indirectly their client too.  But it's like you're one of hundreds or even thousands of itty-bitty clients.  You alone are no big deal. 


So be cool.  If you're cool and not a jerk and do your research, you should get some indirect client treatment and eventually get some help.


Read this:


http://ask-leo.com/how_do_i_figure_out_who_owns_an_ip_address.html


And read this:


http://whois.arin.net


When I get that website's IP address, 100% of the time, I can count on a response within 24 hours.  And 100% of the time, I get a full refund or credit. 


But remember, it's like the Elle Woods 'bend and snap'.  When used correctly, the rate of return is quite generous.   When used incorrectly, someone could get hurt!  ;-)

And the winner of the Doodle Divalicious Care Package is . . .

Leigh of Statesville, NC!  

CoNgRaTuLaTiOnS lEiGh!!!

Leigh chose the most popular diva, "Superstar Diva", for her matted print.  (. . . Excellent taste that Leigh!)

Leigh's care package includes Doodle Diva soap, (diva dermises are quite sensitive!)

paper clip, (. . . diva documentation requires diva clips . . . )

notecard, 

(Cinderella's recent note to Snow White:  

Dear Sleepy Head:

You gotta be AWAKE to be a winner like me!  HA/HA!  

xoxo, 

Cindy)

 

and a "Peace Diva" T-shirt. ( . . . Make SHOES not war!) 

Thanks to everyone for participating.  Stay tuned for more to come 2012!!! :-)